I was due on an update on my new year resolutions last week but somehow amidst all the craziness I dropped the ball. Over the weekend I re-read my resolutions and compiled my progress. January was dedicated to regain my energy.
I made a list of all the things that drained my energy and tried to work on them during this month.
- Sleep earlier. In bed by 10:30. That was the most challenging change. I battled between my need to sleep to feel energized and my urge to craft. Overall I did pretty well. The latest I went to bed was midnight compared to the 2 or 3 a.m I had been accustomed to, I consider this to be a good progress. I started feeling the benefits a few days after I started, I felt less impatient and prone to snapping. I intend to keep going to bed at decent hours.
- Exercise regularly. I had a very slow start on the exercising resolution. Mostly because I was just too tired, once the effects of sleeping kicked in I was able to start running again. I've been hitting the gym 4 times a week for the past 3 weeks and it's starting to be part of my routine.
- Eat healthier. We've been eating healthy for a long time now but I had one addiction. My daily soda! Around 5 every day while putting the dinner together I would sip a very cold soda. It was my treat. My guilty pleasure...I still crave the taste of it but I'm sure I will be able to overcome it or maybe replace it with a healthier alternative.
- Create a system for home management. I've been following the fly lady cleaning tips by reading her daily emails but totally dropped the ball on writing things down.
- Pamper myself. I've managed to leave the house in a decent shape most of the time but I've had a couple of bad hair days and dubious choices of clothes. I did better on the days I prepared my clothes at night and slept early. So I know the secret to success for this one.
- Taking care of the nagging tasks. I did tackle the item on top of my to-do list. I can't tell you what it was because I will have to hunt you down and silence you after that ;o) Seriously it is so embarrassing but I had to care of something for the past 6 years. Procrastinating for 6 years, do you think I get some sort of prize for that??
This really dragged me down and made me feel really bad. Now it's off my to-do list and I feel so much better for that
Overall I am happy with myself and I hope things will keep improving as they start being part of my daily routine. I think writing things down could help and I plan to do that.
Now that January is over I have to incorporate new resolutions in my year round program. The second step after regaining energy is taking care of my marriage. Working on my marriage is an obvious goal in order to increase my happiness. It is a cornerstone of my life and being happy depends on my level of satisfaction with my marriage.
Our marriage is not in trouble . But as much as we love our children, the presence of little ones puts a lot of pressure on a marriage. Salim and I have been married for "almost" seven years, and sure enough, the incidence of bickering has increased since the birth of Samy.
Until then the phrase "Why can't you do it?" had never been part of our vocabulary but suddenly was becoming part of our daily exchanges. I think the worst is behind us now but I still do quite a bit of nagging around here.
Living very far away from our families and close friends hasn't helped much either. I remember being pregnant with Samy and dragging Salim to Buy Buy Baby. He was a good sport and came along but I was so mad that he wasn't more interested in which mobile or crib bumper to choose. I just started crying in the middle of the store. But I guess those places are used to very hormonal women acting up. It wasn't his fault, I should have been there with a girlfriend , my sister or mother conversing about the benefits of choosing one over the other.
Being just the two of us for a very long time made me expect Salim to fill in for all the people missing in my life: My family, girlfriends. And that wasn't fair and I wasn't very sensitive to the fact that he missed his friends and family. The situation was not easy for either of us.
He suddenly became the sole bread winner with all the stress it involved. But I was too busy regretting my job and my friends.
Things really improved since then. I have since started seeing this differently, enjoying the small pleasures and trying to see things his way. Having found girlfriends I can call and talk to has been a tremendous help.
We love each other and show our affection openly and often. We are best friends and always share a good laugh. But we - I- had fallen into some bad habits that I want to change.
- Accept criticism. Every time Salim criticizes something I did or even just expresses an opinion, I take it as a personal attack and stone-wall him. I should be able to listen and respond calmly to his comments.
- Stop nagging. Seriously who likes being nagged and I hate being a nag.
- Give proofs of love.
- Don't expect praise or appreciation. As a student I always felt so proud to bring a good score card. I love to be praised and even now I still do. Part of my frustration by being home is that no one praises my work. No score cards, no boss that complements you, no one keeping scores of your progress. Actually the better you get at your job and the more everyone comes to expect it. I have to learn how to give up the gold stars or at least not be mad when they are not handed as often as I hope.
We'll re-assess things in a month.
